Cue Dolly Parton's 9-5 here.

Yes, I'm gonna set the tone for this work week.  I'm going in positive!  I've already packed my lunch, set up the coffee maker so I can just push 'brew', and taken my shower.  I've even picked out my outfit!  All I have to do is get out of bed & brush my teeth!  

So, it's back to walking to/fro work.  I can deal with upper 80s, low 90s temps, so it's time to be that lady who wears sneakers to work, but changes into sensible flats in the office.  I'm her!

Lunch is:  Tofu & kim chi on steamed rice, side of garlic-chili paste (Cue PowerStation's Some Like It Hot here.)  and a banana.  

My goal this week is to use existing food at the house, so it may get interesting.  Probably not!

Go us!

Aaaah, it is deadly boring up here @ work! I'm so sick of the internets, I've walked around the office, I've jogged in place, I've sat in my chair doing pretend backstrokes, and I've actually tried to do a little work. I dream of sitting on my porch. I'm gonna go make some coffee. ------------------

Here's a true story that is uncomfortable to tell: On Tuesday, I went over to KMHD's house to bake apple pies with her & mom. When I arrived, one of the first things mom said to me was that she would like to get me enrolled with Jenny Craig or a similar program for my birthday. Yikes! I played it off, joked that I didn't know if I could eat their cooking, and held back the tears for the duration of the visit. Hours later, I go home with two unbaked pies and a hurt heart. I shoved those pies in the fridge, not really wanting to have anything to do with them, they represented so much negativity at the moment.

Anyway, I was devastated, humiliated, embarrassed, and angry. I've been trying to deal with my feelings all week. I'm feeling much better now, but I thought I was going to be depressed! I know my mom wasn't trying to hurt my feelings, she's a very frank person, but I was not prepared for that. Too, I now know that when she sees me, all she sees is an overweight person. It makes me feel like the shame of our family!

O.K., yes, I am overweight & I've struggled with that for a long time, but I've also made gains in self-image and self-confidence. My weight doesn't define me. I'm healthy, but not fit. It's not easy to break old habits, but in my household, we've been trying to take simple steps to gain new, improved habits. It's not easy! Especially for someone who has never had an active lifestyle. My idea of fun is not riding a bike on the river trail, it's to read a book or try something new in the kitchen. But, I've started walking to/fro work, bringing my lunch in my beloved Ms. Bento. [I haven't because of 100+ degree heat or rain, but both seem to be subsiding.] I take the stairs at work, and, this is the hardest part, I eat less. This week alone, I've said no to lunch outings with co-workers, going out to dinner w/ ATM tonite, and I've not snacked needlessly at work. Or at home. I'm not starving myself, trying to keep meals balanced, healthy, hearty, and delicious. While I probably needed a little push, I didn't need to be insulted. No one wants Nutrisystem for their birthday! Mom, we are tight, but we're not that tight. You may take your offer and, well, I don't want to be an asshole, so I'll just say that you can keep it. I don't define myself by my weight and I'm certain my (other) loved ones and friends don't. And since I surround myself with (mostly) like-minded folks, I don't feel that I have to make up for it and that I'm judged on character, amongst other things.

So there!

And for those interested in the well-being of those beautiful hand-crafted pies, I threw them out. It wasn't a gesture, believe me, they were making an awful mess in the fridge, getting sticky sweet goo all over everything. Too bad, I totally wanted to try a piece!

Memphis, 9-10 Aug 2008

We roll into town a little after noon & go straight to Payne's BBQ. The building is aesthetically pleasing, totally from another time.



They don't take debit cards, so ATM runs to an ATM to get ca$h. I stick around to take photos & study their simple menu.

We both ordered the chopped plate - a decent heap of chopped pork w/ sauce & bun, beans & slaw. We grabbed an apple & a peach fried pie, too -  might as well order a spread at this institution.  

I hate to say it, but I was disappointed.  The food wasn't terrible, I just prefer a different style of BBQ than what Payne's offers.  The chopped pork was gristly & dry.  The sauce didn't do much to save it.  The slaw was yellow from Mrs. Payne's heavy hand with mustard and vinegar.  Not really my cup of tea.  The beans, the beans were spectacular.  As were the fried pies.  ATM says we should go back to try the ribs to make a fair assessment.  I dunno.  I'm beginning to believe that the best BBQ (ribs & pulled pork) comes from LITTLE ROCK - Whole Hog Cafe.

After gutbusting, we go to our hotel, the laughable, but affordable GEN X INN.  It's really called that!  


We turn on our crappy plasma t.v. tuning in to the Olympics and nap for a couple of hours.  Really.  

We force ourselves up and run over to the nearby Asian grocery in hopes of finding fried tofu w/ onions in it to take back home - BUST.  We go on to Last Chance Records.  It's a cool place.  The looks, the smell of that building took me back to the Day Yutes era.  We were both feeling sluggish, so we didn't stay long, but we did score some vinyl.

We were in desperate need of magic juice, so we make our way over to Otherlands coffee haus.  On the way, though, I see House of Mews, a thing of beauty.  Cats everywhere, in every nook & cranny, napping, being cute & stankin'.  It was torture as I wanted to BE IN THERE.  Don't tell anybody, but anytime we were near Cooper-Young, we totally went to see those frooks.  Like four times.  

There are cats everywhere, this photo does no justice.

Woe is me kitty.

Cats EVERYWHERE, no exaggeration.  Some were caged, probably because they're bad.

You may have to sleep with one eye open around here.

Someone put money in the mail slot. Let me tell you, I know from experience, cats will shred money.

Recharged by Otherlands, we go on to Goner Records where we both score big.  

We decided that next time we travel and we are able to, we're going to bring the portable record player w/ us.  

We go back to the hotel to try to watch Olympics & try to work up an appetite.  For supper, we decided to go to Abyssinia, an Ethiopian cuisine restaurant.  

The food is sublime!  I liked the food better here than the restaurant in Seattle, but I'm still new to the Ethiopian cuisine game.  Me & ATM, we weren't really hungry, but we wanted to eat there that bad.  We shared an entree, which we really ought to do more often.  Heed my words, SHARE YOUR ENTREE.  Your poor belly & wallet will thank you.  This restaurant is highly recommended should you find yourself in the land of BBQ.

We go back to the hotel to let our food settle before we go to Young Deli for a nightcap.

A scotch, a pale ale & a couple of vodka tonics later, we go back to the hotel to bellyache.  Really!  We did not feel good.  It makes me feel ill now thinking of the assortment of foods we ate and how they did not go together.  Guh.  

The following morning was a typical lazy Sunday.  We drank coffee, looked at the paper, watched the telly & lounged around.  We wanted to make a point of relaxing, just the two of us.  A couple of hours of that & we go to the Brooks Art Museum to look at the Warhol exhibit, which was fine.  The exhibits are of his screen printing jobs and they are quality.  He did screen printing to make a fast dollar, they were relatively easy to reproduce and his works were out there & everywhere.  He definitely knew how to market himself.  We didn't dedicate our all to the Brooks Museum because we actually got hungry.  We speed over to our ol' standby, Memphis Pizza Cafe, and get the largest cheese pizza they've got.  So good!  We go every time we're in town!  Completely satisfied, we decide to make one last stop.  There is a used bookstore right across House of Mews.  We take a quick look, but leave emptyhanded.  I'll leave it to readers to decide if it was just an excuse to see those adorable kitties one more time before leaving town.

We came home to rain!  And news of the departure of Black Moses.  Damn.  Damn.  RIP

Catching up!

This is a couple of days late in the posting.


1. I finished the Seattle post FINALLY, but I took it "off air" to tweak it a bit, to make corrections.

2. RE: Vespa, we took it to the dealership almost two weeks ago. All those clowns did was annoy & piss me off! It took me having it hauled all the way down there to realize that they have no interest in helping me, they just want to sell Vespas. Once you're out the door, you're on your own. So, my poor bike just sits outside in this disgusting heat, looking sad. Anyone know anyone who actually cares about Vespas and their well-being?

3. Still recovering from a parent-visitation filled weekend. Started off the weekend with a visit from Mayumi -- she arrived on Friday eve. I made dinner (spicy noodle soup, fried tofu) and we watched My Cousin Vinny. I watched the movie with my adult eyes, I found myself laughing here & there! Mayumi spent the night in our guest room, our first official guest since ATM moved in!

On Saturday, we went to the Farmer's Market, Sam's Oriental Market, had lunch at Mt. Fuji, and then...and then she left.



She was kind to bring us little treats from Japan.


A couple of hours later, Trish and Anthony (ATM's mum & stepfather) arrived. They brought their adorable dog, Killer. We sat around, caught up, and chilled in front of a box fan. We went to Pierre's Pizza for supper (om nom) and then got concretes from Shakey's. From there, we drove up to Ft. Roots to see the awesome view of LR. They were the first people we've taken up there, our spot that we frequent to view lightning storms.

4. Trish & Anthony invited us to join them in Perdido Key, Florida in September. We accept! Duh! I will never turn down a mostly paid for trip to the beach! Sept. 4-8. This will be the first time hanging out on the beach with ATM, so awww. This is a big deal, but...

5. ...it doesn't overshadow our little weekend trip to Memphis. I told ATM the sooner we get there, the better. Because the longer we're there, the more meals we can eat there. And it's just us two, which is nice. We haven't been alone alone in a bit.

6. Our outside stray kitty is gone. I haven't seen Donnie for three weeks now and I'm just wrecked about it. I've never met a sweeter cat ever. His silent meows, his constant longing to be loved on -- I hope...well, I hope it wasn't awful, whatever happened to him. My heart hurts, ouch. Much love, Donnie!

7. I need to remember that my next big computer project is to get videos uploaded, so's I can share them. I'm talking Sonic Youth videos. And probably some of my cat. And then my next big computer project after that is to order some photo prints, get caught up before I reach the point of no return.

8. As far as house projects go, we still need to finish this shelf that's been sitting on the front porch FOREVER. It's just been too hot to do much anything outside. After that, I still need to figure out what I'm going to do with the third room that just sits there with all of my stuff scattered everywhere.

9. I am so busy at work! But, here I am, fucking right off.

Cosmic Ghosts

Hanny's Voorwerp

A nightmare woke me up today, right before my alarm went off. The last moments of my dream were of someone whispering in my ear, "Turn around and look at me, LOOK AT ME." 

NO.

Lasse Gjertsen

My only YouToob subscription. I used to have St Sanders, too, but they yanked him off quickly.

God of Thunder

See you later, Thor!
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We've gone and booked a room in Memphis for next weekend -- Payne's BBQ, Brooks Museum, Shangri-La Records -- a mini-mini-vacation. NEEDED.

It's been a really normal, regular week -- all I've done is work, stay indoors, watch DVDs. Oh, we had dinner with friends a couple of evenings ago. ATM's meal looked like:

In the beginning...

Well, well, well, here it is, FINALLY, nearly thirty years in the form-ing? My spiritual crisis. It's not really a crisis, it's more like an acknowledgment. I'll try to keep it brief, but I must start from the beginning, o.k.?

Me & KMHD, we attended several Christian churches as children. Church of Christ, Baptist, Southern Baptist, and Catholic, to name a few. Our father forced us to go, just to get us out of the house for a few hours every Sunday. Almost annually, he signed us up for Vacation Bible School, I mean, that's a free week of daycare! Brilliant, Dad! Anyway, even as youngsters, me & KMHD understood that we were being treated strangely and we were always separated from the other children. Really. Two chairs on the other side of the room. These were adult Christian instructors doing this. Since we were together, we managed, we endured. Your guess is as good as mine as to why we were herded into the corner like that.

Our parents never really understood our not wanting to go. Maybe they just didn't want to believe us. Or maybe they simply didn't care. But our not wanting to go wasn't a slight to God or Jesus! According to the "Good Book", those guys are our salvation, our ticket to Heaven! It's just his followers, well, they aren't really following the Word, are they? We figured this part out pretty fucking fast -- His followers can fuck right off! (Please note, I believe that there are always exceptions, I know a handful of good Christian people who are spreading the real good word. I'm speaking generally, which, of course, is not that nice.)

We stopped going as soon as we could put a stop to it. I think it's fair to say that I'm still a little bitter. I don't walk around gnashing my teeth, dwelling on it, but I have a reasonable distrust of those who call themselves "Christian".

Let's skip forward to the present. I'm a full-grown! I've made it this far! Haven't been to church since then -- the closest I've been to the Lord is having read the Da Vinci Code! Well, actually, we went to Al Green's church last year, but our intentions weren't so holy and honest. (It was one of the best shows I've ever been to!) Lately, I've been watching Stephen Hawking's Universe & Carl Sagan's Cosmos on DVD. I've been reading some of Carl Sagan's speeches, too. I've come to the very recent realization that there is no God. Yeah, I know, BFD. I am usually in the company of heretics and non-believers., but sometimes these things don't have any real weight to them until you figure it out by yourself. Anyway, it's something that I'm not taking lightly because I still have 'the fear' in me.

I find some comfort in science. Sagan's demeanor is attractive, he is so kind. His words are, don't laugh, like hugs. He elegantly states that we humans, we are made of starstuff. When it's put like that, I'm amazed -- and it makes perfect sense! I can go on and on about it, but I'd run the risk of sounding like a New Age dork. But, I get it.

I'm not quite sure what to do with this realization, but, I feel somewhat liberated. If I only I can shed the fear, pluck out the root that was planted long ago! This knowledge does not really help with my attitude towards religion, but I try to practice tolerance and to exert some restraint when it comes to dealing with folks who just can't be reasoned with. Hurrah for science for helping me feel...o.k.

Island Camping, Pt. II  19-20 July 2008

AMD, ATM, R & K, CM, & D

Boat boys:

Silliness:

Cha cha cha?

Island girls:

Preciousness:


Yucky!

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We went to see the Dark Knight last night.  Oh my.  Really.  Mind, blown.  

Favorite parts/characters:  The Joker, natch!  The Heath Ledger hype is true & real! The faux Commissioner Gordon death, or just Gordan in general.  Or just Gary Oldman in general.  "Debo" the prisoner, tossing the bomb remote-igniter thingy out the window.  Aw.  There's more to be listed, but that movie is LONG and it's a lot to take in & mull over.  Me & KMHD, we've got tentative plans to go get Chinese & then go see it again on Monday.  

By Z.R.:

I've not been walking to work, still, it's too hot.  This is the heat that kills!  I'm a little sad because I really like the benefits of walking, which is immediate.  Extra energy?  Yes, please.  No spending $$$ on gas & simultaneously reducing carbon emissions?  Sign me up, yeah?  Also, I miss bentoing.  Taking a lovingly packed lunch to work is a treat for me!  I heart leftovers, man.

We decided to put off camping for awhile, same reason as above:  too hot.  I hope that means a trip to Memphis soon!

I haven't heard back from I.K.E.  He was lined up to help me haul my Vespa into the dealership for fixin'.  Come on, I.K.E.!  Call meeeeeeeee!

Justify My Love (for the Ciccones)

So, a part of me would like to get Christopher Ciccone's new biography about Madonna. I LOVE her, but I'm no fool to think that she's not batshit crazy and, well, I'd like to see what her bruvvah says about her. Hee.
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We're going to Mom's to pick blueberries after work. And I'd like to make a supper for two, some summer pasta. Easy evening.

Bowling w/ the Peeks:











I've got a design challenge for, well, anyone interested. We've got a third bedroom that I just don't know what to do with. Currently, it holds a nice big table that's supposed to be used as a workspace & I've got project supplies in there, too. It just doesn't inspire me to work on anything AND it's always cluttered because there isn't a proper place for my stuff. If I don't use it, then it's just a sad waste of precious space. So, if anyone has any experience with interior designing or just wants to have a go at making this room better, let me know! I can't offer anything in return unless you take payment in the form of a nice homemade meal (plus dessert!) & your choice of libation. I'll post photos of said room and try to give some dimensions for those interested.

Tomorrow evening, we're going to Burlesque @ the Public Theatre. We might go get ATM a new phone, too, which he really needs.

This weekend, the plan is to go island camping with the crew: Collin, Delores, Keiko & Rett. I can't wait to go swimming! Happiness is me on a float, on a lake, with my mates. I'm trying to come up with a no-cook menu that doesn't leave me wanting. And having to pare down the "gear", always a challenge, but I'll do it! Watch me!

Work has been so dud dud dud dud dud dud. Thankfully, we have nice, fun evening to counter that mess.

So, this is a man's world, huh?

I don't know if I can pull off writing how stupid this day has been so far. It's almost noon, right? I feel like this has been the. longest. day. Shit, I don't want to get into it, I want to get over it! But, I will say this: the man I work for, he is such a spaz! He can make something out of nothing, giving me heart attacks and strokes, all before I even step foot into this building!

3:40 p.m.: I just called ATM & asked how can we make our evening awesome? I mean, what a day! My mind, it's ruined.


In much happier news, congrats to Brian, Pearl & Henry. Adoption is FINAL!

Having An Average Weekend

Friday evening was easy, it had to have been, because I can't remember what happened.  Hang on, let me ask ATM.  - - Oh yeah, we went & had BBQ and had an intention to go see a movie afterward, but that just didn't pan out, neither one of us was feelin' it.  

Saturday, we went to both Farmer Markets - - NLR's is still sparse, but it's the most propah of the two, with focus on selling Arkansas-only fruits, veg & whatnot.  LR's is insufferable what with the crowds & street performers. We managed to pick up veg from both.  Got organic corn on the cob, sunburst tomatoes, okra, and garlic.  Got a coffee from Boulevard --picked up a baguette & Orangina as well.  Decided I was going to make corn chowder for supper.  Stopped by KMHD/ZR/CHANG's pad to pick up the power sander and some Louise Erdrich novels for ATM.  We attempted to sand & re-stain a piece of furniture, but it is turning out to be more work than we want, so it's just sitting on the front porch waiting for us to be non-lazy.  But, this heat doesn't help matters much, yeah?  It is hot.  There's no need to be working out in what feels like 105 degrees.  NO.  After a nice stint of laying in front of a box fan in the middle of the living room floor, we showered and decided to call on Rett & Keiko, to see if they want to have supper with us @ the house.  They said yes!  So, me & ATM, we scramble to make dinner and to set up a nice make-shift supper table in the back room.  Dinner & hanging out was great, I always have a good time with them.  And the food was very tasty!




At the end of the night, it is decided that we are going to Sticky Fingerz (really) to eat chicken strips & then go bowling on Wednesday.  I'm so fucking happy!

After we sent them off, I drunkenly made the best scrambled eggs ever.  Sitting on the floor in front of the telly, watching Kids in the Hall & eating best-known scrambled eggs with my best mate IS the best way to end an already lovely evening.  

Today, wow, the ultimate lazy Sunday.  I wake up at nine, wash all of the dishes, put recycling in it's overfilled bin & make a pot of coffee.  It's raining!  I go outside to make sure it's not a joke and then I wake up ATM.  "Hey, I'm sorry to bother, but it's raining.  We usually have to go to work when it's a rainy day, so if you want to get up and watch it with me, there's coffee."  We sit outside and relax.  It's just perfect, the air is cool and then there's the sound of water flowing over eaves and leaves and the birds are singing super loud and splashing about.

We make a quick run to the hardware store to buy tack cloth. (FYI:  You need it for after sanding!) After that, I develop an immense craving for greasy Chinese food.  We drive over to a restaurant we've never been to, honestly expecting a counter right when you walk in a la New Fun Ree -- NO.  This place is immense, "bigger than a mall's food court", and elaborately decorated.  One word: buffet.  I've never seen one so fancy and full and varied!  There's sushi!  And a guy that will make you a custom grill bowl!  All included as part of the buffet!  As I was peeling my shrimps cocktail, I said to ATM, "This has got to be a $10 per buffet."  "At least!"  Our waitress brings us our ticket...$13 for BOTH of us, wtf!  After we leave there, I declare that I never want to go back.  But, if we do, I will eat my weight in egg drop soup (They let you have as many Chinese fritos as you desire!) and dim sum -- nothing else.  I'm so sorry that I had no camera with me, it is a fantasy land in there.

We come home and nap.  For hours.  Maybe it's because we wake up early to enjoy the rain whilst being a little hung over, maybe it was the Chinese buffet?  I don't know, but we sleep and sleep and sleep.  I'm still tired.  But, I'm about to make a fine supper of zucchini, onion & okra tempura.  And a side of cantaloupe.  And we're gonna watch a movie.  We agreed that our only chores that must be done is to change the sheets on the bed and make sure we have clean clothes for work tomorrow.  What an average weekend.